Drunk Boehner

During his previous stint as Majority Leader, Representative John Boehner’s (R-OH) outlined his three main goals for his first year in leadership which may best be summed up in his own words:

One is to keep the majority in the House. The second goal is to stay close to my colleagues, and the third goal is to be the same old jackass I’ve always been.

If he had a fourth goal, I’m pretty sure it would have something to do with him staying drunk as often as humanly possible.  Part of Boehner’s prideful jackass-ism stems from his incessant thirst for the booze.  And no, I’m not talking about the lampshade on your head, hit on your girlfriend and pass out on your bathroom floor after vomiting in your shower jackass variety; but the man’s boozing skills are that of legend.

He’s an informal guy, one who often pokes fun at reporters’ clothes and haircuts and who is always ready with a quick quip.  

He’s also a closet chain-smoker, fond of the Barclay’s brand, rumored to be able to suck half a pack down in a matter of minutes if given a proper recess.

The son of a bar owner, Boehner worked alongside his father mopping the floors at Andy’s Café when he was in elementary school.  Perhaps that’s where he first developed his taste for booze, but today, Congressman Boehner resembles a modern day Dean Martin of sorts, even leading a social life the legendary crooner would envy. 

He’s made a name for himself with his legendary late-night parties which he first began throwing at the 1996 Republican National Convention.   Nicknamed the “Best Little Warehouse” party, Boehner, (along with Bruce Gates, a tax lobbyist with Washington Council Ernst & Young and head of Mr. Boehner’s Freedom Project PAC and prominent lobbyist Henry Gandy) are known for throwing a party at the RNC that runs multiple days, often lasts until dawn and exceeds $100,000.

According to a USA Today article:

 

 

 

The longest-running convention party is the one being thrown all four nights of the convention to honor Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, chairman of the House Committee on Education and the Workforce. It’s at the Tunnel, a former nightclub on Manhattan‘s West Side. The party-every-night tradition goes back to the GOP’s San Diego convention in 1996, where nightly bashes for Boehner — then a member of the House leadership — got a reputation as the best events in town. Boehner’s lobbyist friends replicated it at a Philadelphia warehouse in 2000 and are doing it again this year. The effort is led by Bruce Gates, a lobbyist for Washington Council Ernst & Young, a firm whose client list includes employers such as General Electric, Ford, AT&T and Verizon.

 

 

 

 

Even NPR acknowledged Boehner as “an insiders insider” who “Throws legendary parties during the Republican National Convention.”

 

Awesome.  It’s like college…only with pensions.

 

When Boehner replaced Tom Delay and was elected as Majority Leader back in 2006, disclosure reports filed with the FEC show that Boehner (or his representatives), spent $1,465 at the “classy” liquor store Schneider’s of Capitol Hill on February 3rd, the very next day after he was elected as leader.  Clearly a celebration was in order. The bill was paid by Boehner’s slush fund, errr leadership PAC, The Freedom Project.

 

In fact, Boehner’s Freedom Project may just be Schneider’s best customer, spending $1178 dollars at the very same liquor store in the current cycle, and another $1,554 on one very special occasion on January 13th, 2004 (must have been one hell of a New Year’s Party).

 

But let’s get back to the Convention.  This year, some 12 years later, Boehner, had a new role: convention chairman.

 

 He spent a lot more time on the podium, presided over the adoption of the party’s committee reports, including its platform and other rules.  At the end of the week, he even got to bang the gavel to draw the convention to a close!  It was a formal role for an informal guy.  Too bad he was drunk.

At the Convention, Boehner gave two awkward, drunken speeches that were embarrassing, somewhat uncomfortable, and confusing at best for those in attendance.  The man could not pronounce a name if his life depended on it.

16 Responses to Drunk Boehner

  1. Ann Hamilton says:

    The gentleman may need to “soften up” lest his liver repel by “hardening”.

    • wasa republican says:

      The only thing hardening is the contents of his jock strap. What happened to his girlfriend. Took John McCain’s advice apparently. Dump the bimbo, spoils elections.

  2. Prescott says:

    Haha… Not sure about the validity of all these claims but this is pretty funny

  3. david says:

    Ha, And I thought his skin color was a chemical or mechanical tan; it’s actually jaundice! But how does that explain his hair color changing from a 2008 gray to a 2009 brown? Must be the nicotine…..

    What a great example of leadership, humility, and intelligence!

  4. LB says:

    Our new “Weeper of the House” is an alcoholic, prone to crying on the floor of the house in the afternoon (imagine the uproar if Pelosi had once showed such emotion), noted everywhere for being out of his office and in the nearest bar at 5:01pm, and so obviously maintains his fake tan to mask the collapsed capillaries in his nose and face (how he must rue the day high def TV became the norm). He’ll check into Betty Ford for treatment for “exhaustion” before his chairmanship is up!

  5. bill clinton says:

    i ,ay usually be al liberal but i supprty john boehners right to get drunk! light i am right now! but nancy should still be speakr of te house!!!!!

  6. bill clinton says:

    haha did i just call myself bill clinton. im not. although he should be president agiant

  7. Dennis Hastings says:

    Believe me, I come from a long line of alcoholics, and you can take it from me… this guy is really wasted in the #8 video. Medium buzz with slight slurring and loss of coherency on the other two.

    I can’t say I’ve seen ‘em all, but I’ve seen him. He’s wasted.

  8. darcy says:

    a link to the video of the speeches would be helpful to determine if what you say has validity.

    • boehnerbooze says:

      Darcy – all speeches are linked throughout the site. In fact, I believe the first post is a link to Boehner’s RNC speech. Let me know if you have any further questions or suggestions.

      Thanks.

  9. mara says:

    3rd in line for the presidency..how scary is that..

  10. elleestfolle says:

    Is someone in Washington keeping track of his bar hopping?

  11. may says:

    How sad your life must be to create and run a website dedicated to this topic. Put on some pants, get out of your mom’s basement and be productive!

    • boehnerbooze says:

      Hey thanks for the stopping by. You help illustrate a great point – some people have no appreciation for sarcasm.

      This blog started as a joke after I attended the Republican Convention and encountered John Boehner on several occasions, who was noticeably intoxicated. His speech was embarrassing. Since then, the site has grown to the number one blog / site on the internet devoted to the topic of alcohol and Boehner.

      Maybe I’ve offended some of your political sensibilities.

      But I can assure you, mom and dad kicked me out a long time ago.

      I run another blog that is extremely conservative and more consistent with my actual political ideologies, and it’s funny because I hear the exact same crap from the left.

      You ma’am / sir have probably never worked or ran a political campaign, have never lobbied a member of US Congress, and probably only see the world in terms of blue and red.

      So, take the stick out of your asshole, loosen up, and stick to things that aren’t outside of your realm of comprehension.

      (p.s. I work from home, and am not currently wearing pants)

  12. Hutch Dubosque says:

    Will everone please QUICKLY donate to the Lustgarten Fund for Pancreatic Cancer. This turkey gonna need to get some serious help, and very soon!

  13. C. Adams says:

    I thought that all Republicans go through indoctrination, where they are taught how to comb their hair as we as how to read and burn they’re morning marching orders (talking points)and how to worship Ronald Reagan. Iknew this guy was a drunk when I first heard him speak on the house floor and he slurred every third word, Whata joke.

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