Signs You May be a Drunk #6 (Blaming Others for Your Mistakes)

November 21, 2008

Signs You May Be a Drunk #5 (Playing the Victim)

November 20, 2008

John Boehner Bobblehead

November 20, 2008

 

Order today and you can have yours in time for Christmas.

boehner-golf-bobblehead


Spirit(s) of America

November 20, 2008

The Wine & Spirits Wholesalers of America have given John Boehner or his PAC $86,500 in contributions in the last 10 years alone.  Boehner was first elected to Congress in 1990 and assumed office on January 3, 1991.

To put this into perspective, Boehner has been a Congressman for almost 20 years, and in the past 10 years,  2/3 of the $86,500 that has been reported has contributed in a span of 4 years.  Leadership has been, very, very good to Mr. Boehner.

The motto of the Wholesalers is “Bringing You Life’s Memorable Moments.”

A study of the Wholesaler’s website proudly claims that for every dollar spent on wholesaling, $1.41 in overall value is returned. Using that math, for every dollar the Wholesalers have pumped into John Boehner in the past 10 years, they’ve received $121,965 in overall value returned.

Safer than the stock market.

A quick review of their website reveals a tragedy afflicting drinkers abroad the mainstream media simply won’t tell you about:

People abroad are dying from tainted alcohol. And in this U.S., we’re no longer guaranteed product safety when it comes to many foods and the toys we buy for our children.

Can we add bad booze to the list of things to blame China for now too?  Is Al Qeada somehow involved? 

Thank God we have a three-tier system in place and men like John Boehner to help ensure the safety of all alcoholic beverages for American consumers.


Party Time!!!! Excellent!

November 20, 2008

Congratulations are in order to John Boehner as he fought off a late challenge by Rep. Dan Lungren of California, detractors and other haters alike,  re-securing his  position as the highest ranking minority member of the House earlier today.  Up until two weeks ago, Boehner was the Minority Leader. Now that his former title has been claimed by President-elect Barack Obama, Boehner’s title will officially be changed to “The Number One Rich, Old White Dude.”

Boehner remarked:

From the Northeast to the Deep South, there is a distrust of big government that will only intensify in the months ahead. This is an opportunity we haven’t had in years. We have to seize it — together.

I wasn´t born a Republican … I didn´t know I was a Republican until I woke up one day in a pool of my own vomit and realized my wallet was missing.

It’s clear Republicans must find new ways to reconnect with the American people and address their priorities…Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get shit-faced.

Something tells me a liquid celebration is in order tonight.  And there’s good news for the Boehner Camp – Bourbon is On Sale at Schneider’s of Capitol Hill!


Signs You May be a Drunk #4 (Sloppy Appearance)

November 19, 2008

We’ve all accidentally worn blue dress socks we thought were black, or even an occassional mismatch, but forgetting to wear any socks at all?  Dude, this isn’t Miami Vice.

 


John Boehner’s Connections to Big Booze

November 19, 2008

send_booze
The Wine & Spirits Wholesalers of America Inc. PAC has donated a lot of money to John Boehner and his PAC, the Freedom Project over the years.

So have the National Beer Wholesalers Association PAC.


John Boehner Drunk at the Republican National Convention

November 19, 2008

We all know Rep. John Boehner likes to booze it up at the Republican National Convention – but couldn’t he lay off of the sauce DURING THE FLOOR ACTION?

Thank you sir, may I have another?

Thank you bartender, may I have another?

boehner-flag Did he really say “Mr. Plesident” at 5:36:56? And, just in case you have trouble viewing the videos above [WARNING: the audio isn't as good in the Youtube clip as it is in the CSPAN clips above, but content is the same]

POSTSCRIPT: Well, it turns out that the internet has been scrubbed of Boehner’s Day 3 speech.  You can find video of Boehner from Day 2 (wearing the green tie), but you cannot find video of Day 3, where John was plastered (wearing blue tie).

CSPAN has taken all of the Youtube videos down, and they no longer include a link to Boehner on Day 2 on their archive site.

Conspiracy?  Random chance?  Not wanting to offend the new Majority Leader?

Regardless, Boehner’s drunken diatribe at the Republican National Convention is what started this whole blog.  It’s a shame the video has become an urban myth.

I know it happened.  I was there.  It was all the talk of the Convention as things winded down.

I will continue to look for video evidence and update this page once it surfaces, but in the meantime if any readers stumble across this video, please drop us a line.  Remember, it’s day 3, with the big gavel where Boehner is wearing the blue tie.


John Boehner Demostrates the Art of Ordering a Drink in a Bar

November 19, 2008

 

We all know how hard it can be to order a drink in a DC bar – even when you’re Minority Leader John Boehner.  The crowds, the noise, the lack of light – it can be a real challenge.  That’s why hand signals are a crucial component to you getting served in a timely manner, and even more importantly, your bartender will appreciate your willingness to make his or her job easier.

Below, Rep. John Boehner demonstrates the art of ordering drinks under such circumstances:

One Drink                                       

boehner-orders-a-drink

Five Drinks

5-drinks-part-2

Small Drink (also doubles as a “shot”)       

boehner-shot1 

 Big Drink 

large-drink

Really BIG Drink

really-big-drink-2


Signs You May be a Drunk #3 (Obnoxious Spontaneous Singing)

November 19, 2008

 

The Infamous Boehner Birthday Song!


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